College or Something Else?

A Father’s Dilemma in a World That Demands Both

I’m a Black man with a 17-year-old son. He’s a rising senior in high school—bright, kind, curious, figuring out who he is and where he wants to go. And right now, like a lot of parents, I’m trying to guide him through one of the most complex choices he’ll ever face:

College… or something else?

For decades, the answer was simple. College was the path. If you wanted to be “successful”—whatever that meant—you went to a four-year school. If you didn’t, people assumed you’d somehow missed your shot.

But what if that narrative doesn’t fit?

What if the pressure to attend college is louder than the real preparation it offers?

What if your kid has the potential to thrive—not in lectures, but in building things, fixing systems, managing teams, making ideas real with his hands and his mind?

What if he knows it… and you know it… but the world keeps telling him to apply to a school that may not serve him?

Where Aptitude Meets Anxiety

My son is not “less than” for not being wired for classrooms and midterms. But when I look at him, I don’t just see potential—I see pressure. The pressure to chase a four-year degree, not because it fits his skills or his goals, but because society treats it like the only legitimate option.

And here’s my fear: even if he earns that degree—maybe just barely—will it really put him in a better position? Or will he be another name on the “Some College, No Credential” list… or a name on the diploma wall with a job that doesn’t require one?

What Skilled Trades Actually Offer

Let’s be real: trades aren’t second-class.

Electricians, HVAC techs, mechanics, wind turbine installers, linemen—they’re not just surviving, they’re thriving. Many start earning earlier than college grads. They avoid crushing debt. They enter a workforce desperate for their talent. And for a young man with the right aptitude, trades offer not just a job, but a future.

What’s missing is the social piece. College still has a monopoly on community: dorms, teammates, friends who become family. I want that for my son too.

And that’s the dilemma. How do I give him the structure, growth, and relationships that college offers, while still setting him up for meaningful work?

We Need New Language, Not Just New Paths

This isn’t about choosing between college or trades. It’s about designing lives that integrate both development and direction.

We need:

• Bridge programs that connect trade training with campus life.
• Community-based cohorts where young people can grow socially and emotionally even if they aren’t on a campus.
• Fathers, uncles, mentors, and guides who say out loud: your path is valid—even if it doesn’t look like mine.

Because at the end of the day, I don’t just want my son to have a degree. I want him to have dignity. I want him to feel confident in what he builds, secure in how he earns, and proud of who he’s becoming.

To Other Parents Who Are Struggling

You’re not alone.

It’s okay to question the system. It’s okay to look at your child—not the rankings, not the brochures—and ask what really fits. It’s okay to carve out a new definition of success.

And it’s more than okay to say: My child’s future is worth more than a default path.

Let’s build new bridges. Let’s name our fears out loud. And let’s create spaces—online and offline—where young people can develop the skills, community, and clarity they need to thrive.

Because they deserve more than pressure.
They deserve a plan.